How to Stay Mentally Strong During Tough Times

      Have you ever thought why nowadays the number of people who are mentally traumatized or in depression has increased so very much. Do you most the time feel sad, upset, angry or frustrated for something or the other reason? Then you are also part of this big community of happy but sad people. And what makes us so much upset and depressed. These are bad habits which costs us more than we think. We all know about the bad habits that impacts us physically but today i tell you about the bad habits impacts our mental health negatively and how to deal with it.  Nowadays, i guess every one is connected to social media from one or the other mean. Okay stop! I am not accusing social media for spoiling your minds. But it is a channel. I am sure, we all have some friends, who posts fabulous happy pictures all the time about their family, very rewarding career and how blessed they are. And how many times we don't like such friends. How many times you must have thought why do they have all the good luck. We all cannot help stop thinking that way and it makes us feel small. In fact, it also makes us feel better sometimes. Well, thinking that way eats away a lot mental strength and makes us ineffective. Researchers have found that envying your friends on social media actually can lead to depression. That's just one of the traps our mind set for us. 

     There are 3 destructive beliefs that spoil your mental health. First - Unhealthy beliefs about ourselves. We tend to feel sorry for ourselves. How many times you have thought or said in any unfortunate situation - Why all this has to happen with only me? Well, its okay to feel bad for something but self -Pity goes beyond it. It starts when you magnify your misfortune. It keeps you focus on the problem and it also keeps you away from the solution and that is how you are stuck. If you are not able to find any solutions to your problems. That's really fine. You can always take an extra step to make your life or somebody else's life better. But you cannot do that when you are too busy in hosting your own pity party.

      The second type of destructive belief that hold us back is the Unhealthy beliefs about others. We think that other people can control us. And we give away our power. We live in a free country and as adults there are actually very few things we have to do. When you use that phrase " i had to this, i had no option left or saying that others forced you to do it. The fact of the matter is -You always had a choice of not doing it. If you are unsure about anything, just do not continue to do it for sake of others. The classic example - when you say, your In-laws drives you crazy. You lose again and you give away your power. Maybe, they are not the nicest person on this planet but from your side at least you can change the way you respond because that is what is actually in your control.

        The third type of destructive belief that holds us back is the unhealthy belief about the world. We think that the world owes us something. We think, if we put in enough hard work then we deserve success. But expecting success to fall in your lap like some sort of cosmic reward will only lead you to disappointment. I know it is hard to give up on our bad mental habits specially when you have carried it for so long knowingly or unknowingly. But you can't afford not to give them up. Because sooner or later you are going to hit a time in your life where you will need all your mental health to muster. 

        Mental strength is more like physical strength. If we desire a good physical appearance, we would hit gym, work out and to make it more effective we would also cut down on our bad junk eating habits. Likewise, to keep our minds strong and healthy, it is not only necessary to have good habits like practicing gratitude and doing correct things but cutting down on bad habits like resenting somebody else's success. No matter how often it happens, it will hold you back. So, how do you train your brain think differently? How do you give up those bad mental habits that you have carried around with you?

         Its starts by countering those unhealthy beliefs with the healthier ones. For example, the unhealthy belief about ourselves comes mostly when we are uncomfortable with our own feelings. Feeling sad, hurt, angry or scared, those things are all uncomfortable. So, we go to great lengths to avoid that discomfort. We try to escape it. Although, there will be a temporary distraction, but it just prolongs the pain. The only way to deal your uncomfortable emotions is get through them. To let yourself feel sad, take your time and then move on. To gain confidence in your ability to deal with that discomfort.

       Unhealthy beliefs about others come about when we compare ourselves to other people. We think either they are above us or below us. We feel that they can control how we feel or we can control how they behave or we accuse them for holding us back. But really, its our own choice that do that. You have to accept that you are your own person and other people are separate from you. The only person you compare yourself is the person you were yesterday. 

   And lastly, the unhealthy beliefs about world come about, because deep down we want the world to be fair. We think if we put enough good deeds, good things will happen to us or if we tough it out from enough bad times, we will get some sort of rewards. Ultimately, you have accept life isn't meant to be fair or perfect. That means not necessarily, you will rewarding for your goodness but it also means no matter how much you have suffered, you are not doomed to keep suffering. The world doesn't work that way. Your world is how you make it. But of course before you change your world , you have to believe that you can change it. 

I am working on my bad habits still. I am sure you will too. And let me tell you, having your own choice is more liberating and satisfactory. This writing is not basis what i have thought randomly. But very serious lessons which i have learnt throughout. Hope it will help you too.

Stay healthy! Keep reading ! Upgrade yourself... :)